Life is full of joy and sorrow. The melodies of life involve not only high moments, but low ones, too. My grandmother has lived through more than ninety decades. In those years she has endured war, found love, mourned the loss of relatives, suffered illness, survived a train crash, and discovered new happiness in grandchildren.

Each day carries a crossroads of pain and hope, suffering and healing. In my poem Evening Music, I sought to portray these crossroads. Words like “pillow”and “wooden bench” were written in the same line to juxtapose the softness and harshness of life. “Paper fan” and “electric fan” are used to show the fragility and strength in my grandmother. I wrote the final line, “She plays the piano even in the dark” to show that even if my grandmother has suffered much, she still sees light in the dark and makes something beautiful.

Ellen Sazzman’s poem Assisted Living Lullaby (Fall 2016 Intima) resonated with me and echoed similar sentiments. The words “lullaby” and “assisted living” brought together images of youth and old age in my mind. Life seems cyclical, as we sing lullabies to both infants and seniors. Music compels us to meditate on life, stirring memories of a wide breadth of emotions, from sad memories to happy ones.

Working in the medical world has reiterated the juxtaposition of the sorrows and joys of life. Each day in the hospital sees both life and death. How do we navigate all this? Do the sorrows make the joys all the sweeter? I do not have all the answers, but perhaps it is in poetry where I can wrestle with these thoughts and experiences. Writing allows us to wade in the gray, to make music in the dark.

Anna Delamerced is a medical student at the Warren Alpert Medical School of Brown University. She received funding through the Bray Medical Humanities Fellowship to pursue a year-long project, focusing on poetry for kids in the hospital. Her works have been published in KevinMD, Medscape, Abaton, Plexus, Murmur, Cornerstone and in-Training. She is passionate about listening to people tell their stories. Her poem “Evening Music” appears in the Spring 2020 Intima.