Trigger warning: suicide attempt

I skimmed through “Eight Months after a Suicide Attempt” (Spring 2015 Intima) once as I perused articles in past issues of Intima. But I came back to it, read it again, and again. Andrea Rosenhaft’s non-fictional and personal narrative speaks to the nonlinear recovery process after mental illness. It is also a deeply vulnerable account of the realities of suicidal depression.

My own art piece (“Recovery Blooms” in the Spring 2021 Intima) highlights the role of medication in mental illness recovery and growth. It also signals that each person’s healing process is different, implied by the varying types and heights of flowers. I had originally considered my drawing as a portrayal of multiple people recovering – each flower depicts one individual’s journey. But reading “Eight Months after a Suicide Attempt” showed me that my piece, with five prescription bottles, could represent the same person as well. Each flower could symbolize recovery at different stages of life. Perhaps one treatment was successful in the past, but now it falls short. Maybe you needed to grow back and heal differently this time.

As Ms. Rosenhaft alludes to in her piece, the healing process is often not linear. After five years which were “the fullest [she] had ever experienced,” she attempted suicide again after decades. After returning home from a psychiatric hospital, she was re-hospitalized when her suicidal thoughts emerged again, amplified and pervasive. And while recovering, Ms. Rosenhaft returned to a former psychiatrist who had not planned to continue working with her, who didn’t know if she could even be of help anymore.

I think about how flowers are an apt metaphor for describing healing and recovery. Some flowers wilt and die, only to sprout again the following season with taller blossoms and stronger stems. Ms. Rosenhaft began writing again, posting on her blog after an eight-month absence.

Flowers always grow towards the light.

Sujal Manohar lives and thrives at the intersection of the arts and sciences. A Duke University graduate with degrees in neuroscience and visual arts, she does not view these fields as mutually exclusive. Art is a tool to connect with others and help them heal, as well as an avenue for health-related advocacy and awareness. Manohar has designed collaborative murals in healthcare settings, taught art to pediatric patients, and led art gallery tours for adults with dementia. Her work has been displayed at the Texas State Fair, Duke Wellness Center, and Kenan Keohane Gallery. Currently, Manohar serves as a Hart Fellow and AmeriCorps Artist in Residence at Imagine Art, an art studio for people with disabilities. She plans to start medical school in 2021. Her artwork “Recovery Blooms” appears in the Spring 2021 Intima: A Journal of Narrative Medicine.