***Susan Thomas is a Senior Nurse in Palliative Care working in a Hospice, whose work was recognized by The Hippocrates Prize in 2021.***

While reviewing the archives of Intima, I noticed that there seemed to be a particular tone to the work created through the pandemic, and one which resonated with my poem “Shoot Out” (Intima, Spring 2022)—that of surprise. Surprise at finding one’s self in an unfamiliar role not normally played as a healthcare professional. This encompassed a sudden extension and adaption of the nurse’s role that perhaps led to conflict, something we would try to avoid. Artwork by Mandy Quan—The Pandemic Puzzle (Intima, Fall 2020)—reflects this: we were fragmented, with the need to be whole again, just to be nurses. However, there was a necessity at that time to control visitor entry onto the ward, visiting restrictions, and use of PPE. This led nurses into a ‘policing’ mentality, which in Palliative Care was alien to staff and caused moral injury.

Just as healthcare professionals were trying try to adapt, visitors to patients were also finding ways to be with their dying relatives, some to ingenious lengths! “In Vivo” by Manisha Bharadia (Intima, Spring 2021) talks about not expecting people to behave how you would expect them to—not to assume they would do as you would. On occasion, visitors challenged the rules which were in place to protect everyone, which was hard to comprehend. Both relatives and staff were responding to extreme demands.

Something to take away from the pandemic and at the root of “Shoot Out” and “In Vivo” is the common need “to protect”—be it an environment, a person, belief, or access. So don’t be surprised: people will go to any lengths to attain this from their own particular view point, and as healthcare professionals we need to acknowledge this in difficult scenarios and see the scene from their balcony, possibly with forgiveness.

Susan Thomas is a Senior Nurse in Palliative Care working in a hospice, whose work was recognized by The Hippocrates Prize in 2021.